it’s tough, living with a progressive condition like MS... because on the one side, being a positive glass-half-full kinda girl, I tend to look on the bright side of life, focus on the things I CAN do, but then on the other side, I’m often forced to face the things I can’t do, like today:
its a glorious sunny day, so naturally (after shuffling my way to the back door!) I’m sat outside on the veranda in the garden, which is lovely.. or would be, if it wasn’t such a humongous mess! Pre-MS days I would have been out here taking this jungle in hand, ripping up weeds and rearranging beds but as things are now.. it’s like Day of the chuffin’ Tryffids: all I can muster the energy to do is to move a couple of plant pots out of my way!
Sitting here, surveying the ‘jungle’, it really does sum up my head - all out of control with no sense of order.
My house is no better: hoovering is akin to taking part in an Olympic event, it takes up so much of my energy and leaves me drained like I’d run a marathon! As a result, my humble abode resembles the aftermath of a rather messy all-nighter. -except there has been no partying going on here (like who has the energy for that?!) and the tidy-up is just impossible to manage.
The problem with being of a mostly happy bubbly disposition *flutters lashes* is that people generally assume that I can cope, that I ‘get on with things’ because that’s pretty much the attitude I portray, but the truth is it’s a farce, an illusion, and one that I struggle with every day.
So I’m sitting here, absorbing some much-needed vitamin D from the sun’s glorious rays and it’s bitter-sweet, facing the the mountain of everything that needs to be done, but unable to do a thing about it.